Saturday 28 August 2010


A wedding has taken place that was heading for disaster even before the couple make their oath to each other.

Strangers, and those not as intimately involved in the turbulent relationship between the pair, genuinely wish them success in their marriage, but the omens are not favorable.

The bride and groom live just fifteen minutes away from each other, but they wer made to travel thousands of miles to the wedding.
The ordaining minister wanted the ceremony to take place at his temple, not in the two families'neighborhood.

The groom has spoken of his determination to make the marriage work. He has even made gestures to prove his intentions.

He did, however, say that if the bride would not marry him he intends to build extensions to his house, and that she can have no claims of that property.

The bride has snubbed her nose at every offering from the groom, saying that it was insufficient for a bride who has suffered so much at the hands of the groom.

Offering her part of the house is not enough for her. The groom should know, she has demanded, that she wants the whole house.

She has snubbed the groom, pointing to a long line of admirers who ply her regularly with gifts and money, far in excess of what he can possibly provide her, and these riches are given without no demands.
These constant gifts, she believes, displays unconditional love. She enjoys the pampering, the fine lifestyle, that these suitors have given her.
Why should she settle for anything less. Anything that the groom is prepared to give her would require responsibility and accountability on her part, and a degree of self sacrifice. This, she is unwilling to take upon herself.
She prefers to maintain that happy state where all she needs to do is to appeal to her lovers as a fragile girl who needs someone to love her, and that is something the groom is unable to do. There has been too much recent history standing in the way.

One insistent desire of the bride is that both parties will share equally the groom's house, or that he hand it over to the bride's family in ownership.
This, said the groom, will never happen. The house is legally his and he demands a pre-nuptial agreement to ensure that she has no intentions of taking over his home.

The bride insists that, during the honeymoon period, the groom will not conduct any renovations or extensions as, to her, this would smell of bad intent.

Furthermore, the bride has threatened to storm out of the ceremony, or the honeymoon, if she finds out that workers have moved in.

The bride is apprehensive for another good reason. She has been threatened by those in her family if the marriage is consummated. She is, after all, a Muslim, and the groom is a Jew. This would go against all traditional codes of behaviour. Her sister has already threatened violence. She has witnessed an earlier marriage which resulted in that bride being struck down by her family.
Perhaps this is the main reason that this wedding will lead nowhere - ever.

This is a marriage destined for hell. Why is it taking place at all?

Basically because the bride in particular, but also the groom, were dragged, screaming and kicking, to the chuppah against their will by a rabbi (or is he an imam?) who was desperate for a photo opportunity to boost his sagging reputation.

The minister had received a peace ministry award just one day after he was ordained. He had done nothing since to justify this prestigious prize.
He now felt that a well publicised ceremony would go a long way to make him look good in the eyes of the award panel.

No matter that he has done little to give this ceremony any confidence. He even publicly slighted the groom in a recent visit. 
It is the image of a high profile ceremony that is all important to him, not what the two marriage partners do to each other after the wedding pictures have been published.

So what if the couple pull each other to pieces after the service. Other ministers have tried bringing these two together. They have all failed.

True, a couple of invited guests have achieved a fairly successful partnership with the groom's predecessors but the feeling among the congregation will be one of pessimism.

It's probable that the bride and groom will never kiss and make up. They are, after all, two totally different people.

It is more than likely that they will argue and fight each other, forever.

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